Man Problems

Ok, I am writing this post to vent. I am thoroughly disturb by the number of women going through mind blowing circumstances with men. Instinctively when we hear of these relationship horror stories we want to blame men, and jump on the " All men are dogs" band wagon, but this simply is not true. Not saying that men are perfect, and some how have no issues of their own to deal with, but it is high time us women start taking responsibility for the way that we are treated. There are good men, and great men even, looking for good women to wife up. Number 1 : Ladies get some standards and stick to them, Number 2: Keep your legs closed, there is just no way he's going to respect you and take you seriously if you are easy. In the words of Miss More Roses from Black Women Who Want More group, being Easy is EASY, try doing what's hard for a change.  Believe it or not, a man who loves you will wait for sex PERIOD. Keeping you legs closed is the BEST way to weed out the pretenders from the contenders for your heart. Try connecting with a man's heart, mind, and soul, instead of his penis right off the bat. Try attracting a man with your awesome personality and sense of humor, instead of your breasts and thighs. Now in today's society that's HARD. Again STOP BEING EASY!!!

 Stop over functioning and doing TOO much too soon, for someone you barely know. Love on yourself, and get your own self-esteem up before trying to go after a man, then looking to him to validate your own existence and SPECIAL-ness. Please don't chase men, if a man wants you he will hunt you down and pursue you. Even the animal kingdom demonstrates this, the male species always has to fight, dance, or flutter around in order to win mating rites with the female species. I really want to see my sisters in humanity reclaim their sacred sexuality and femininity.

If you need some help getting started on the road less traveled, and being considered a goddess instead getting treated like crap then finding yourself with the same jerk in a different shirt, I am going to recommend some required reading. Of course you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You make the choice, what's it going to be. For myself, I'm choosing goddess status.

The Following books will enlighten you and get your mind straight, if you don't learn from this, then sadly, you will never learn, and you may just find yourself, a heart broken 50-60 year old women, bitter and worn out from destructive relationships. These books helped change my entire life!!

1.  Choosing Me Before We  You can get this for like $10 on Amazon
2.  Why Men Love Bitches
3. Why Men Marry Bitches
4. Mr. Unavailable and The Fallback Girl
5. I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Why You Can't Get Married

Seems like sooooo many women are having man problems. Men afraid of commitment, men that have five girlfriends at the same time, men living with a woman for years on end with marriage nowhere in sight. And the question is why? I truly believe that women have more control over this situation than most think they have.

Conventional advice in magazines like Glamour and Cosmopolitan will have you thinking to get a man, all you have to do is bend over backwards (literally and physically), and be the ultimate sex goddess in order to get and keep a man. Be flirty and you're sure to grab the man of your dreams attention. I mean honestly, now days a woman will give a man sex and he doesn't even have to buy her a Happy Meal from McDonald's. Even with all this advice about being an independent sex goddess, women are still single and trying to figure things out.

I think that conventional modern dating is the reason why women are finding themselves single, and that perhaps the wisdom and ways of old will find women feeling worthy and headed down the alter (more frequently) again. I mean think about it, back in the day our grandmother's and great-grand mothers didn't have a problem getting a husband and it was mostly due to the fact that people "courted" not dated, families were involved, and the women weren't had higher standards, weren't  giving up sex to every Tom, Dick, and Harry that got her excited, and weren't out chasing  the men.

Maybe you think I'm old fashioned, and overly opinionated, but the statistics speak for themselves. I would love to see a return to old fashion courtship, were parents advice (which is usually right), is taken into serious consideration, and "dates" were the kind that were planned and thought out, and didn't end with being in bed with a complete stranger.

As you all know, I am Muslim. In Islam boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are not permissible, yet getting married is very important, and highly advisable. People get to know each other, by chaperoned visits, or outings (usually the father, older brother, or another person who knows the woman very well, and has her best interest in mind). A woman has her full rights, and should never be forced to marry someone she doesn't want to according to Islamic rule (sadly this happens in some countries today). Ironically, these marriages have a higher success rate, than those who went the whole I met him at a bar route.

I would love to hear from those of you who ditched traditional, modern dating, and found your dream guy by way of courtship or other forms of non traditional match making. Share your story of how this can work in the modern world, for the modern woman.

My earnest prayer is that each and every woman feel worthy again. Worthy of love,  and understanding her worth. May Allah make every woman feel worthy again ....Ameen.