Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Modest & Sexy????? A Contradiction

Not too long ago on Facebook, one of my Facebook friends, and sister in Islam, posted a reply after being attacked about a post stating that she had bought a pair of skinny jeans. Many women attacked her saying that it is inappropriate for a Muslim woman to wear skinny jeans.

Now let's keep a few things in perspective. Number one, this woman wears hijab (for those of you who don't know hijab is the Islamic headscarf), and wears it properly, covering  herself they way she needs to be covered (Islamicaly). Number two, this woman is married, and I believe has at least two children.

Besides my hating judgemental people, my other pet peeve (other than rudeness and inconsideration), are people who are too extreme. On one hand a woman can be to loose and out there, have absolutely no restraint about how she conducts herself, dress wise or other wise, but on the other hand you have the woman who is modest, but so modest that she can't allow herself to be ultra sexy and feminine when appropriate. Both are wrong in my humble opinion.

I am of the belief that every woman should have a pair of skinny jeans, mini skirt, halter top, some daisy duke shorts and a little black dress ......TO WEAR AT HOME FOR HER HUSBAND. Think logically for a moment. Unfortunately, your husband is out all day looking at,working,and dealing with women, most of whom do not have a problem showing a little thigh, cleavage, or butt. Then he comes home to you and your dressed like a nun,  hair a mess...you get the picture. Ladies this is a man's worst nightmare, and even if he is a man of Allah (God in Arabic language) and understands why you choose to dress modestly (outside the home), he is still a man, and wants to be excited by the woman that he has to come home to until he dies. The prophet (PBUH) has said "All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with.  Use the beauty Allah - Azza wa Jal - has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband." And we should do just that.

We should not be afraid to embrace our feminine sexuality. I know that this is sometimes difficult for women who are very religious or have been taught that being sexy is bad or dirty. Our sexuality is beautiful and a gift from Allah/God, it is nothing to be ashamed of  and should always be used appropriately and responsibly.

On a side note, us Modest Fashionistas, shouldn't use wearing hijab, or dressing modestly as an excuse or reason to stay out of shape (I am guilty of this, and am changing). We should strive everyday to eat right, exercise and be in the absolute best shape ever, for ourselves first, and also for our husbands and family.

The art of being a feminine woman, and using our feminine wiles  has become lost for the most part. Modesty IS important, but a woman shouldn't lose her sexy side just because she choose to dress modest in public. Remember balance is key in every aspect of life.


  1. totally agree, I wake up every day and put a lil eyeliner and lippy on, not only for my man but also for me! When I think I look good, I definately feel good and that also inproves my mood towards the kids and man. Great post sis:)

  2. As Salaam Alaikum you are so correct I think that if people just focus in on the deen (Al-Islam) and the beauty of it these kind of talks wouldn't exist. Staying sexy for your husband and keeping him please is what a woman needs to focus on. Its not haraam it's totally halaal so what would be the problem? Besides jumping on other sisters about skinny jeans and not to mention make-up. My husband is a trucker and when he comes home he doesn't want to see granny gowns and slippers. I believe every sister keep the "SEXY" in for the sparkle of the marriage. Focus on Allah 1st and your husband 2nd.


  3. I agree sis, nothing wrong with skinny jeans, if they make you feel and look good at home. I wear what ever I feel makes me look cute, sexy, glamorous, etc a home for my husband, and when I go out I just throw a jilbab or a skirt and tunic and my shaylah on and I'm good to go.

  4. I hardly dress up, like I use to before I had my daughter. My husband told me that he doesn't mind seeing me in PJ pants and a cute shirt. So I do dress up for at times. I know deep down inside he enjoys it, but he doesn't like to tell me. He wants me to feel comfortable.

  5. Salam! I really did love your post. You're absolutely right, many "religious" women are afraid to look sexy (at home). I'm not married, but when I am at home with my family I kind of gave up on looking good, like doing my hair and dressing in cute tops or whatever. My mother told me a story about her friend that wore a abaya and was married. she pretty much gave up on herself to the point that she looked terrible in front of her husband. The end of the story--her husband married a 2nd wife that did not wear hijab and took care of herself. InshAllah, when I do get married, I want to make sure that I look good for myself first and my husband as well.

  6. Salamoualeikoum
    Absolutely agree with you. Just want to correct one thing: Hijab is not islamic headscarf, Hijab is the covering of all the body. You can delete this comment (i'm not of the haram police lol).

  7. It is hard to dress sexy for your husband in your home when you have 5 children and your mother in law lives with you-YIKES!!!

  8. Hi and Salam,

    How can I contact you? as I would like to interview you in regards of Islamic fashion, styles and as well as its evolution for my Dissertation . I'm a MBA student form University of West of England, Bristol UK but I'm from Malaysia.

    I really hope that you can spare me some time help a sister in need :} please drop me an email at stylishalya@gmail.com and I can explain further about the interview and its details.
    Thank you.