Thursday, December 3, 2009

To Be Free or To Be Sexy? That Is The Real Question

Why does it matter how I dress? Who cares anyways? Isn't how I dress is my business? These are all valid questions, and I sometimes get these questions as a  response when speaking with women of all ages about the topic of dressing modestly.

Actually it amazes me at the number of young women who look at me like I'm completely CRAZY, for suggesting that they not show their cleavage and cover up their legs so that they can reclaim their respect and the power of their sexuality. Somehow they can't make the connection that the style of clothing (or lack of clothing) they chose to wear  is sending a powerful message that they can be used for sexual conquest, or simply not taken seriously. They idolize women like Kim Kardashian (who's only claim to  fame is her sex video scandal), and Britney Spears, thinking that by dressing more seductivley they can perhaps have a piece of the fanatsy that men will desire them the same way those women, and many other female celebs are desired.

The truth of the matter, is that for a lot of  women the fantasy that they fufill through dressing seductivley is a double edged sword,because the reality of life is that a book is often judged for its cover, and if the old expression, "Dress for the position you want", is true, then many women have it totally twisted. Why would you dress in a way that adveritises how great you are in bed, when what you really want is a stable, healthy, relationship, with marriage in the horizion?

I believe that the free love, sexual revolution of the 60's has back fired, in one way or another, on many, dare I say most women. The sexual movement that was supposed to set us free from the prude ideas of yester year, and make us equal to men, have indeed enslaved us. How many women are emotionally enslaved, unable to trust and fully love, because they have given their gift of sex away to so many men that didn't really love them? How many teen girls are mothers and the guy they gave their"love" to is no where to be seen? How many of us are struggling from the guilt of leaving our kids in daycare or with the nanny, because we have to work, or having to make choices between the family or the job? Be sexy, must stay sexy, ok over 40 must get botox, it's ok to have a one night stand, if guys can do it, then we can do it mentality, where has it really gotten us? Are we really free? Or are we over worked, under appreciated, stressed out, used and abused, trying to be a superwoman, when we weren't created for that?

 We are at a crital point in history, or should I say herstory. When our daughters; little sisters, cousins and younger friends are  choosing anal sex as a way to "save" their virginity? When young teens think it's cute to be pregnant, and when women think it's ok to have multiple sex partners with no sort of commitment, because men do it all the time, I think there is a problem, don't you? I mean just the other day I read of a report about the new teen trend of "Sexting", and where a 13 year old girl hung herself (just a few weeks ago) due to the ridicule she recieved after a nude photo that she sent to a boy she liked ciruclated at her school and on the internet. She was 13 people!!!!! What will our legacy be to future generations of daughters?

I know that dressing modestly isn't going to save us from all the problems that we face as women, but I wish you all could have a taste of what it feels like to remove yourself from the over sexed energy our society  thrives on, just by covering up. I know it sounds so stupid, but it's so true. I discovered it for myself when I started dressing modestly, it's kind of like unplugging yourself from the matrix. Since I no longer openly display my sexuality with my clothing, when I go places now, dressed to impress of course, I get looks from men, but it's not the same, they are looks of intrigue and respect. I get doors opened for me , and hats tipped at me, I get comments of you are so beautiful, your energy just radiates, not hey baby, you lookin soooo fine today or wow you got a lot of junk in yo trunk type comments. Let it be said that I am a happily married woman, and not looking for attention at all, but these are just my observations, plain and simple. It's what I wanted all along. Yes we are free to work, vote, pursue our dreams, happiness, and all of those things, and I am as thankful as the next woman for the Women's Suffrage Movement, but don't you long to be treated like the lady of yesteryear. To be courted and wooed, to be romanced, and treasured? We have the power to have all that and more, but lowering our standards is not going to get us what we want.

The thing that I realized, is that God created us equal to men from the very beginning. God said that it was not good for Man to be alone. I think that is interesting that he didn't say it's not good for Woman to be alone. I think God created woman self sufficient and so equip, that  he knew that we could fair off better alone than men. They need us, we need each other, but they really need us. We as women are precious commodity, and when something is considered precious commodity, it is valued and will be worked hard for in order to obtain. I believe that if every woman realized this about themselves, they would make men work a little harder, because men value what they have to work hard for much more than what is given to them for free. When they work hard this is when we reclaim what we wanted all along .....respect and true sexual power!

Ok well that is my food for thought for the evening, hopefully the message resounds in the minds, hearts, and souls of  some of you reading this. I hope that each of you are blessed and enlighten. Have a great evening!

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